You are here: Homepage > complaints

DEAR SIR, I SUFFER FROM HAM-FISTS WILL IT AFFECT MY CHANCES OF BECOMING A NINJA?

Dear Sir,
Why was last nights edition of Newsnight replaced by a continuous loop of Bob Carolgese throwing ham into the fiery pits of hell?
As a license payer and sometime ninja to her Royal Highness Queen Neill of Stockport, i was deeply shocked and found that only after consuming several litres of Tesco's 'budget' whiskey, was i able to continue feeding my cat through a mincer. when can we see a return to form from the BBBC?

Sister Aretha Cambelt
St Bernards-up-the-Tree
Streatham

Dear Sir/Madam/Gibbon
During Tuesday evenings broadcast of the News at Ten, i discovered a portal to the 'other side'. Upon entering i was greeted by a chorus of sub standard boy band music, a horse in a wig and a foam filled Barbara Cartland. imagine my dismay when returning to catch Trevor McDonald going through my silverware, while Anna Ford stood closely by, stuffing her head with my best Mint Imperials, singing the songs from the shows.
As a long time viewer i am frankly appauled that standards have fallen so far. What is being done to address this, and will i die if i eat barbed wire?

Yours Disgruntled
Mr Frank Lee Appauled
Wales